A sure recipe for low self esteem is to constantly beat yourself up for your failings.
To raise your self-esteem, try to be more balanced by celebrating your strengths and achievements. It is easy to overlook our strengths when we are in a negative frame of mind and also to take for granted the things we find easy to do.
Why do you think you have so few strengths worth celebrating?
- Because everyone has always pointed out your shortcomings - as you do yourself.
- Because you rarely get any positive feedback for a job well done .
- Because the things you do well are so familiar to you that you take them for granted .
- Because you have learned to focus only on your mistakes .
Audit your strengths
- This is not as easy as it seems because you will have discounted your strengths.
- Find a good listener to help you review everything you have done.
- Others may be more objective about what you can do than you can be.
- Discuss work and non-work projects you have been involved in over the last 5 years.
- Strive to avoid discounting the other person's attempts to name your strengths.
Review your strengths
- Make a list of your strengths and read it to yourself regularly, adding to it as you go.
- Praise yourself for what you have achieved.
- Compare yourself favourably with peers who have not done what you have done.
- Review your strengths whenever you are feeling particularly defeated.
Mitch McCrimmon, Ph.D.